Birthday Love [11.13.2005]

Originally posted on MySpace on November 13, 2005

I want to thank everyone who came out last night to help me turn “21” again. You all got dressed up, complimented the “bulge”, showed the love, and I am very very very grateful to have people like every single one of you in my life. I cherish my friends as much as I do family, so THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. You all mean the world to me.

First and foremost, Cheri “Godiva & Cream” Rose… I want to personally thank you for rounding everyone up since I was a half-hour late to my own party, and for handling the ‘thousand-dollar / one-check’ bullshit at the Bamboo Club last night. It would have been a huge huge huge disaster if you did not step up to the plate and take charge. TI-83 Calculator, Office Max chart tablets and all… now the birthday planning is all over. I’m a bit sad. But at least we have the Toronto Part 2 trip to look forward to next year. I love you my little Godiva accountant.

Personal shout-outs (in alphabetical order due to the sensitive divas on my list who will undoubtedly complain why their name wasn’t at the top.) Forgive me if I left anyone out. ?

ADAM… I promise to act civilized next time that we are all at dinner. Hope my “they’re gonna watch Laguna Beach on TIVO and fuck” comment wasn’t too outta-hand.

AMY… I clean your pool in my undies. You show up to Blue Martini and buy me drinks. What a deal! I love working for you!

AL3X… I am working on my “Top 20” mainly to make room for you. I just cannot fathom surviving the work day without being on the phone with you. I am glad that we are becoming better friends.

BECKY… Holy Shit! The biggest shocker of the night. YOU standing in line at Blue Martini to see little ol’ me. To say I was happily stunned would be a staggering understatement. To have the sweetest girl in the world call me the sweetest guy is just the sweetest thing!

BETH… Betty Rubble… Even though I’ve been seeing more of you lately, I didn’t know that you would be out last night. I’m glad that you were.

BILLY JOLIE… I love you. You’ve been nothing but good to me since I met you, and it doesn’t hurt that you laugh at all of my retarded corny jokes. You put up with my drunken, outta-control ways and let me talk about Laguna Beach when I never watched a single episode. Ha! I can’t wait for our next dinner outing.

BRAD… the chauffeur of the drunks… eating Chicken Chow Mein in the Hard Rock parking garage… I would not have wanted to do it with anyone else! You’re one of the most reliable people I know. See you on Thursday.

BRYAN… don’t think that I didn’t notice your look of shock everytime my tongue was in someone else’s mouth. At least you were included. The reward for coming out last night.

CHRIS… you got all dolled up and I was impressed. Surprised, but impressed nonetheless.

DONNA… What can I say? You (along with Jared) have been the two consistent staples at my birthday functions. And you were the only one who went to BOTH birthday dinners this year. But I’m not surprised being that anywhere there’s food, you’re not far behind. I love you. Now quit calling me!

DOUG… The bottle of wine. The shots. The only way to properly thank you would be with some “Doug hug lovin” at the table. No handshakes, Doug gets love too.

DOUGLAS… Thank you for telling me to “shut the hell up” when I was whining about having to be up early in the morning on Tuesday as an excuse NOT to go to Bricktown on Monday nights. It reminded me to just suck it up and party all night long.

ELISE… If I hear that you were leaning on couches at Slim Pickens, our relationship is over. I will tell everyone the truth about you being 30. Love… Ooohhh Okie!

ERIC PELLY… Please send me any and all photos so that I may approve of them before posting them in bulletins or sending to others. I have a feeling that I looked like a hot, sweaty, drunken mess. LOL I swear that I have no idea what was taken. I just remember being drunk and having a flash go off in my face several times.

FABIAN… Thanks for the bday chat while I was getting dressed, and for reminding me to appreciate what I’ve got and not focus on what I don’t.

FERNANDO… ”Blue Martini is hit or miss.”

GENE… Mr. Damage Control… I’m craving La Terra Sita. We should go again soon.

GINA… You picked out the most amazing outfit for me last night. You created the coolest birthday flyer. You wrote the funniest and most heartfelt birthday speech. I know that we’ve said this numerous times to one another, but I appreciate EVERYTHING that you have done for me. Remember, if you have to suck, GET A SIZE UP! I love you. Shut up!

GWYNNE… The first night I met you, you were severely trashed. The second night that we meet, I was severely trashed. Next time, let’s be trashed TOGETHER.

HILARY… Being at the Beer & Wine Fest @ EPCOT would’ve stopped others from coming out last night, but NOT you. No wonder Harry is so in love with you. Too bad I’m stealing you from his slutty hands.

JARED… You are a Okie Birthday Survivor, meaning you’ve outlasted everyone (with the exception of Donna) in coming to these birthday functions of mine. We’ve known one another since we were 11 years old, and here we are at the age of 26 – I mean – 21 and we’ve managed to never lose touch.

JEN + JESSE… I hope that Meatball enjoyed having the couch all to himself last night.

JESSE… You’re becoming a regular staple lately, and I’m happy for it. I know that you weren’t feeling up to par, so you sitting at the table when I showed up did not go unnoticed.

JUSTIN… JW… Even Mise-En-Place work clothes won’t stop ya from coming to the Blue Martini!

JOHN PAUL… We are sooo over! You went to Flirt. You did not go to the Casino afterwards as planned. You cheated on me. It’s okay… I will forgive you and I still got nothing but love for you. Let’s be bad influences on one another sometime soon and stay out when we BOTH have to get up early in the morning.

JESSICA… I seriously wanted to order that dish I told you last night at the Bamboo Club, too bad only the Blood Mary version was available… So I had to settle for a make-out session. You were the first for the night… be honored! Ha ha! We need to continue seeing more of one another.

JON LA MAY + SCOTT… my resident celebrity friend… Everybody Loves Jon La May! I needed my Jon La May-fix b/c AIM and phone calls just weren’t doing it for me any more. Tell Scott that it was nice to meet him, and bring him out to the next dinner function. I will make sure to send you a PERSONAL INVITE in a very early fashion.

KATINA… Don’t ever scare me again by making me think that you’re NOT gonna show up. Ask Gina, I nearly had a heart attack. How I could not have you of all people at my birthday last night? The night may not have ended to your liking, but it was fun before all that drama went down. I love you.

K3LLY… I know that the dress code and the venues weren’t exactly your cup of tea, so you just showing up and being there showed the love. I will go out of my way to have you around. I hope you know that.

KISHA… Who needs a titty lick? 🙂

KRISTEN… I may have been drunk when I met you at Eric’s Bday at Czar a couple months ago, but I remembered your name and face. I’m impressed.

LAURA… I made out with the Pastor’s daughter! Thanks for the sloppy bday present.

LINLEY… I love you! To be greeted by you with a big-warm hug and a bottle of wine was the perfect way to start the night off. Two nights in a row of Linley and I’m loving it. Loved the outfit by the way!

MELINA… the fucking trooper… No excuses, you were exhausted and worked until 1AM yet still showed up to the club. But I do have to point out that you were wrong on one thing that you predicted… I REMEMBERED seeing you, talking to you, hugging you… all in my drunken haze.

NICK… the night just was not the same without you there. I need to send you Gina’s speech that has a whole verse dedicated to you. Hilarious shit I tell ya.

RALPH… it appears that I am always seeing you across a dinner table while we both are stuffing our faces. And we shall carry on that tradition at Thanksgiving dinner this year.

ROGER + ALISON… truth be told, I didn’t think you would make it out Roger. And when you did, it made my night 10 times better. You’re a true friend. Kiss Alison for me!

SAMMIE… I loved my card from you and Elise, even though it pointed out that I’m an old man who’s losing his hearing. Ha ha! Straight from a wedding to a birthday party just to support me. I wanna ride in your new car to dimsum soon. I love you. Call me. Shut up!

STEPHANIE “MADONNA”… Thanks for the Jack & Ginger beautiful. I got to see my sexy blonde bombshell again. It’s been too long… let’s not let that happen again.

STEPHANIE + ROB… Mr. and Mrs. Brown… Stephanie, thanks for dancing it up with me. You were the ONLY person last night who went to the bar and ordered me a water.

STEPHANIE SAK… My Asian counterpart. You consistently groped me last night, felt me up, shoved your tongue in my mouth, bit my bottom lip, insulted me, rubbed some smelly lotion all over my head and face outside the club… and I LIKED IT!

STERLING… We made out. We drank up a storm. We danced dirty. I think that we may need our own exorcism soon. I love you Miss Thang! We’ll dance to the Killers soon.

STEVEN, CODY, JOSH + SHANDEE… When Steven says it’s shot time, IT’S SHOT TIME! Shandee so could’ve gotten in at Blue Martini b/c they just let some of us walk right in without showing our ID’s or paying for cover. I was happy to meet the Jacksonville crew, and that you were able to flaunt your new shirt. We’ll order PUSSY CONTROL shots (did I say that loud enough) at the next dinner. (Bring some Aderol too!)

STEVE-O… Your camera seems to NOT love me anymore due to the unflattering photos taken last night. Either that or I was just too wasted to look handsome and classy. You said you were honored to be there last night, well it was an honor to have you.

Thank You again everybody!

Love Always,


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