The Way I Live [05.23.2006]

Originally posted on MySpace on May 23, 2006:

Whenever I’ve been drinking, I find myself talking uncontrollably. The manager at Baxter’s in South Tampa asked if I ever took time to shut up, and that it was obvious that I loved to hear myself speak.
My true friends hold a high value in my heart. No matter who they date or who they fall in love with, no one will ever be good enough.
I miss my nephews. As much fun as I had last March, the last Toronto vacation has so far been my biggest disappointment this year. I wish that I had saved some money from that trip to put towards a plane ticket to visit my nephews in New Jersey.
I made the coolest friends in Chicago, and feel like I have known them my entire life. We just get one another.
I often wonder when I will outgrow the whole club scene and stop acting so crazy when I’m drunk.
My father seems to believe a psychic in Maryland who told him that I was going to be filthy rich one day. Two years later, a psychic here in Tampa told me the same exact things that were told to my father… pretty much word for word.
I used to believe everyone had a soulmate.
I don’t think that I’ll ever fall in love. I’m too goofy and excessively silly to be taken seriously, and too much of everyone’s friend to ever be considered romantically.
Sometimes, I find myself honestly not knowing what the hell I am doing in life.
Counting Crows “August & Everything After” and Tori Amos’ “Little Earthquakes” were my two favorite albums when I was growing up. I would listen to both discs on repeat for months, and just lose myself in the music.
I sometimes find myself caring way too much about people, and constantly catering to make sure that everyone is happy and having a great time… even though they would not do the same for me.
People expect too much from me.
Kate Bush’s “This Woman’s Work” is a song that can make me cry on the spot.
I believe in God.
I believe in Jesus Christ.
I do not believe in churches.
Hypocrisy is the biggest flaw in Christianity.
My friend Tara Evans stopped talking to me because I didn’t go to her wedding. I cancelled last minute only to be unknowingly cancelling our friendship at the same time.
Sometimes I wonder why everyone is so fond of me, and why people think so highly of me.
I wish it were Saturday already.
I know that I would not trade my life for anyone else’s. I do love my life, and I just felt like rambling… so maybe it’s true, maybe I don’t know how to shut up. 🙂

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